The day is FINALLY here! You've dreamed about your wedding day since you were a little kid (or as my Great Aunt Linda used to say, "knee high to a grasshopper"). You've made your lists, you've checked them twice. The wedding planner is good to go, the DJ knows what song to play when (and for exactly how many seconds), the caterer has the meal plan, the groomsmen have their tuxes and the decor items have been rented. You are ready!  But...are you?

I grew up hearing my dad say, "always expect the unexpected" and it has stuck with me through many different aspects of my life. No matter how much you've prepared, you can always find something that you need, but don't have. Don't panic! I'm here to give you my top 12 Things to Pack in your emergency wedding day kit so that you're prepared for anything! Well, maybe not the apocalypse, but you get the idea.

1. Band-aids. Ever had a shoe rub the back of your heel raw? Whether you need it, or one of your bridesmaids is in need of a little bandage, you've got it packed and ready for the booboo! You can even go all out and bring a tiny first aid kit, complete with tylenol, midol, ibuprofen, etc. 
2. Bobby pins. You'll have around 100 in your hair (give or take a few), but if that one pesky hair gets into your face one. more. time..... bobby pin to the rescue!
3. Mints. You're going to be snacking and talking throughout the day. Some vendors, such as your make up artist and hair stylist, will be pretty much in your face for over an hour. Do them a favor and smell minty fresh.
4. Deoderant. You'll apply and reapply. There's a lot of stress going into the biggest event of your life!
5. Hand sanitizer. You're more than likely going to shake a dozen or more hands during your event. Stop the spread of germs with your own little bottle of hand sanitizer. Bonus points if your wedding dress has pockets!
6. Kleenexes. Your grandma's going to cry. The flower girl's going to sneeze. Be prepared.
7. Sewing Kit. As a wedding venue owner, I've had several folks ask to use our sewing kit - a button popped off the groom's vest, the lace tore a little on your wedding gown while you were putting it on, the officiant's watch got caught in his pants pocket and ripped a hole in his trousers...trust me, it all can happen!
8. Stain Remover. Sometimes little ring bearers have been known to snack on a lollipop right before walking down the aisle. Have a Tide Stick ready to go, so your pictures can be "spotless!" (like what I did there?)
9. Fashion tape. Nobody wants a wardrobe malfunction out there on the dance floor!
10. Make-up. You're going to want to touch up during the event. Keep it simple with concealer, lipgloss and mascara.
11. A Change of Clothes/Shoes. Have something comfy to change into at the end of the night. Or, if you're not a heel person and rather dance the night away in some flats, be sure to have them packed up and ready to go!
12. Handheld Fan. This can be used to help dry your makeup, cool off menopausal Aunt Josephine or even come in handy with those clammy hands and armpits!

What are some items that you would pack?

If you'd like to learn more about my venue, The Barn at Heritage Farm, located in the foothills of the Yadkin Valley Wine Region of Surry County, North Carolina, check out our website at www.thebarnatheritagefarm.com. You can find our availability, pricing information and ways to contact us to schedule a tour! We host indoor and outdoor ceremonies, provide picturesque views and book year-round. We would love to show you around and answer any questions you may have. Happy Wedding Planning!

We get asked this question more often than you may think  - "Is my wedding really a place for children?" While we can't give you a definitive answer, we can help you think about the pros and cons of having children attend your event, as well as ideas on how to keep them occupied while you say "I do". We'll even help you with wording your invitations when you don't want any kids around - you're welcome!

Ok, it's getting close to making the decision and you're wanting to weigh out your options. Let's start here:

Pros:
*Kids = more guests to be there to celebrate your special moments!
*Parents won't feel obligated to choose between spending time with their children, or being at your event.
*You can't imagine not having your nieces, nephews and extended family there.
*The more, the merrier! You want noise and laughter - a real family vibe!

Cons:
*Kids = more guests that you have to pay for when it comes to seating and food and you just don't think your budget can be stretched any more that it has been already.
*Babies cry, toddlers have meltdowns and older children need space to run around (especially after sitting well-behaved through a 30 minute ceremony and a 45 minute meal).
*Some venues may require a childcare "sitter" onsite at all times to monitor the children. Again, your budget may not have room for this. 

Let's dive on in to what you need to think about as a host where children have been invited:

*If babies are coming, is there a changing table or area?
*Is there a room for private nursing or a rocking chair when it comes to nap time?
*Is there a fridge or microwave for bottles and snacks?
*Can strollers be brought in? Are highchairs provided or do you need to tell people to bring their own?
*Are there areas where children are not allowed because of safety issues? (think electric fences, parking lots, a pond, farm animals and equipment, etc)
*Is there suitable food on the menu? (while salmon and steak may be the main entrees, think about chicken fingers and fruit for the littles)
*Are any plastic plates or cups available for children to use?
*Are the songs appropriate? (you may want to add in a fun song early into the night like the Chicken Dance or the Hokey Pokey to let the kids feel included too- what great pictures these would be! Just give your DJ a head's up!)
*Are there videogames and a tv for the kids? Or are these items off limits for guests under a certain age?
*Would it be better if you provided childcare? (look into babysitting services from reputable companies or using a friend that you know and trust)
*A jumphouse? Sounds great! Ask your venue if it's even allowed and if so, is more insurance required? 

Think about providing items to help parents occupy their children - i.e. coloring books with crayons, puzzles, outdoor hula hoops, cornhole, checkers, etc. As a venue owner, I will add in that sharpies and stickers are NOT a great idea, unless you like having a mustache added onto your bridal portrait....or want to scrape stickers off of your glassware centerpieces....ask me how I know....

I'm pretty sure that every venue has some sort of line or two in their contracts regarding children on the property. My advice? Find it. Read it. Then, read it again. Also, be prepared for those parents who are having so much fun celebrating you, that they're not watching their children. It happens. There might even be a clause in the contract stating things about unattended children and the loss of damage deposits, especially if something gets broken. 

Now, you've spent hours racking your brain and have finally decided that you don't want to take a chance on baby Timmy crying during your ceremony, little Megan having a meltdown during the father/daughter dance or 10 yr old Billy seeing if he can flush a fork down the toilet (again, ask me how I know). How do you get your wishes across without sounding mean and insensitive? 

Here are some creative words to use on your invitations when children are not allowed to attend:

*Due to limited venue space, we kindly ask that this remains a child-free event.
*Because of our open bar, we are asking that no children attend our wedding and reception.
*While we love your children, please respect our wishes for an adult only affair.
*Children are more than welcome to attend the ceremony, but we ask that guests 18+ stay for the reception.
*We want you to enjoy the evening, so please keep this event child-free.
*We kindly ask that you help us keep our wedding kid free.
*To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we kindly request no children.
*Leave the kids at home and join us for a night of food, fun and dancing!

You can even make note on the RSVP cards, like this:

_____ adults will attend.
_____ regrettably, we are unable to attend. 

You may, or may not, get some push back from friends and family - you are NOT the bad guy. Stand firm on whatever decision you've made. At the end of the day, it's YOUR beautiful wedding and that's exactly what it's going to be - YOUR beautiful wedding. Hope this helps! Happy Wedding Planning!

If you want to learn more about my venue, The Barn at Heritage Farm, located in the beautiful foothills of the Yadkin Valley Wine Region in Surry County, North Carolina, you can find our availability, wedding package information and ways to contact us on our website www.thebarnatheritagefarm. We host events year-round and have indoor/outdoor ceremonies. 

Ever been to any sort of production like a musical concert, a Christmas play, a broadway show or even a marching band routine?  Those folks just woke up one morning and decided that today was the day...they were going to put on a performance of a lifetime! Rehearse? No way! They've got it all under control, right? RIGHT?!

Wrong. Chances are, these performers spent hours upon hours rehearsing so that they know exactly where to stand, when to walk, what to say, where to go... you get it. A wedding is much the same way. There are different moving parts which require people to stand in certain spots, musicians to play at certain times, and an officiant to know exactly when those vows are to be shared. 

Rehearsals are important. They just are. It not only gives the wedding party a chance to spend more time celebrating the happy couple, it also provides a peace of mind that everything is ready and set to go for the production, er, ummm..I mean wedding. 

Once the rehearsal is over, you have the option of dismissing everyone and going about your business OR, you can have a catering company come in and provide a delicious meal. Or, better yet, do something that's not so common and invite your favorite food truck to come set up! Take the time for speeches, let your inlaws play that picture slideshow of your fiance when he was 5 and covered in mud, and most importantly, just embrace this moment: chances are, you won't all be in the same place, at the same time, with only these same people, for the same reason ever again. 

Money tight and you can't afford a formal rehearsal dinner? It's actually becoming more common to see wedding parties provide their own food for the rehearsal dinners. If your venue allows, create your own budget friendly meal like a taco bar, potato bar, pasta bar or even pizza. You know how Great Aunt Sally has been asking if there's anyway she can help? Well, let her bring desserts for the rehearsal dinner! Have Uncle Jim feel included and tell him you're just dying for him to grill out hamburgers and hotdogs like the grill master that he is. 

Venue won't allow you to bring in your own food or no time in the rental to sit down and eat? No problem! Make reservations at a nearby restaurant. If you're providing the meal for your guests, great. If not, just be sure to let everyone know that they're responsible for their own check.  Need another idea? How about inviting everyone back to your house for a more laid-back atmosphere? Bring in the pizza and beer and just hang out. These are your best friends, right? They're not going to care if sushi or lobster is on the menu - they just want to be a part of your celebration. 

Another important aspect that comes with many rehearsals, is the ability to use your time to bring in your items and decorate. Not all venues allow this, so be sure you refer to your contract. This is a perfect opportunity to make a couple trips to unload your vehicle, double-check those lists and be sure you've got everything ready for the fun to begin the next day. 

I know what you're thinking now - what if my venue (or my budget) doesn't allow time to rehearse, eat, drop off items or decorate? Well, there's not much that can be done for most of those things, but the rehearsal part and the dinner can be done somewhere else. Get your wedding party together and utilize the space you have access to - think backyards, churches or gyms.

As a venue owner, I've seen hundreds, HUNDREDS, of weddings. Many have taken the time to rehearse and some have not. Just because you choose not to have a rehearsal doesn't mean that everything's going to fall apart and you're left at the altar with a wedding party wandering around the parking lot. Communication is key and as long as you communicate with your wedding party, planner, officiant, DJ, musician...it can be done without a rehearsal and it can still be the beautiful wedding that you deserve. However, if given the opportunity to provide a rehearsal, take it. 

If you want to learn more about my venue, The Barn at Heritage Farm, located in the foothills of the Yadkin Valley Wine Region of Surry County, North Carolina, check out our website at www.thebarnatheritagefarm.com. You can find our availability, pricing information and ways to contact us to schedule a tour! We host indoor and outdoor ceremonies, provide picturesque views and book year-round. We would love to show you our property and answer any questions you may have! Happy wedding planning!

Planning a wedding is hard, right? ABSOLUTELY. But there is a way to make things a little bit easier....read along to discover the key information you need (and probably don't even know you need) so that you can be ready to start planning the BIG day! Let's begin:

Wedding Planner/Coordinator/Key Point Person

Planning a wedding is like throwing the biggest party of your life - there are so many lists to follow and items to check off! This is stressful for anybody - but it doesn't have to be. Consider hiring a wedding planner, a day of coordinator, or, if the budget doesn't allow, at least have a point person delegated to be in charge for all those last minute questions, because trust me, there will be last minute questions!

"What time should the caterer arrive?"  "Where does the DJ set up?"  "The baker is late dropping off the cake - who's going to call her and see where she is?!"  "It's raining!! What happens now?!"

The questions get harder. Eliminate some of the stress, take a breath and let someone help you!

A Well-Structured Timeline

Everybody has an idea of what usually happens at a wedding:  wedding party arrives, vendors set up, guests are seated and the music begins... but planning a timeline is more than just a drop in the hat. There are certain aspects to your wedding that you don't want to forget and with the busyness of the day, that can certainly happen. 

Photographers will work with you when determining timelines for photos (get ready pics, first looks, wedding party before ceremony, wedding party after ceremony, family, etc). DJs will also need a timeline for songs - think ceremony music, cocktail hour tunes, background ambiance and then party music. Caterers will need a timeline to know when to arrive to set up, what time does cocktail hour begin, dinner service times... Your wedding planner will be able to tie all of these timelines together to make sure your key moments (daddy/daughter dance, cake cutting, and more) aren't forgotten about in the rush of getting things done before those highly anticipated "golden hour" photos are set to begin! No planner? No problem!  Just be sure to talk with your vendors about how much time they need to perform their duties, create a list of important moments with your family and fiance to make sure you're not forgetting anything crucial (we all know you can't go back the next day), and share this information with your point person (remember how important I said it is to have someone??).

An Understanding of Venue Expectations

Each and every venue has different procedures and policies in place to help make your wedding day a success. As a venue owner myself, I share this information with our couples multiple times in the planning process (at time of booking, on our website, checklists due before event). It is imperative that you know all the information before you just jump right in to the planning process. Here's what to ask your venue:

What hours are included with my rental? - once you have this information, be sure to share with your vendors/family/friends so that they can arrive accordingly. Venues may or may not charge overtime fees.

What are the alcohol policies? - is there a time limit for bar service? Is the bartender provided or approved? What types of alcohol can be served? How late can the bar stay open? Are there any additional fees? Is alcohol even allowed??

Who does set up and clean up? - most venues will provide a set up option, but leave the decorating up to the renters. There are some venues that will include decorating, so be sure to ask about this (also, ask if there's a fee involved).  Who handles the trash at the end of the event - some venues require the catering company to take trash off property, while some venues handle the trash themselves. Be sure to know what all needs to be done before your rental time ends. Share this info with your planner, vendors and family. Uncle Bob doesn't want to show up at 7am if the doors don't unlock until 9am!

Do I have to use certain vendors? - venues come in all shapes and sizes, and so do their vendor lists. While venues may, or may not, allow you to use your own vendors, some may even allow you to provide your own services like catering. Be sure to ask (BEFORE YOU BOOK) if there is a list of vendors you have to choose from. You may have had your eye on a certain photographer for a while and you'd be devastated to discover that your venue only allows certain photographers from their list. Knowing about a vendor list is crucial - it's your wedding, your budget and your dream - make sure you can get exactly what you want!

What does the venue provide? - knowing if your venue provides tables/chairs/linens/dishes/trash clean up/decor items/time for rehearsal, etc is super important to your budget. Be sure to ask for an itemized list (or double-check the contract) to know exactly what is included in your venue rental.

Is there a Pan B (in case of rain) policy in place? - if you're planning a beautiful outdoor ceremony, the weather may create an unwanted wrinkle in those plans. Be sure to know if there's a rainy day policy in place if the ceremony/reception has to be moved indoors. What is the latest the decision needs to be made? Is there an additional fee? Who will help relocate items inside? If not, ask about the venue's policies on allowing outdoor tents. Should you have one on standby from a rental company? Does the venue provide one? There are SO many questions related to moving an outdoor event to an indoor space. Make sure it's do-able, and most importantly, make sure that it's comfortable for your guests and vendors. Grandma might not be able to walk up 42 steps to get to an indoor area and the caterer needs to make sure there's enough space to set up a buffet for 200 people. Don't be afraid to ask your venue ALL of these questions and always have a rain plan!

What's the cancelation policy? - nobody wants to think of a break up happening, a sudden death in the family, an unexpected surprise or even a loss of income, but these are certainly things that can happen during your wedding planning process. Not only should you know about the cancelation policy for your venue, you should also know what it looks like for each of your vendors as well. I highly suggest purchasing an insurance policy just for the 'unexpecteds' in life. 

What is the guest count allowed for my package? - packages at venues (and for vendors) may be based on number of guests. Be sure to ask before you book so that you know you've chosen a venue that will accommodate your number, leaving you plenty of room for a dance floor, a memory table, a drink station, a photo booth, a DJ and more. Just because a venue says it can hold 200 guests, doesn't mean that leaves enough room for the 200 guests to enjoy the space. 

What is allowed and not allowed? - be sure to know the rules when it comes to sound ordinances, sparkler send offs, confetti, decor items, bands, heat/ac, etc. Some venues may not allow cold sparklers, confetti poppers, music after 9pm, air condition turned on with open doors, or candles inside. Again, this is a great opportunity to ask the questions, read through the contract and not be surprised on your wedding day. 

Remember how I said planning a wedding is pretty much like throwing the biggest party of your life? Having a point-person to help manage the load, creating a timeline that's easy for everyone to understand and follow and knowing exactly what you need to know from your venue's standpoint can help make your wedding day a seamless success. Now... you've got a lot of the key information you need, so go out and start planning the BIG day! 

If you want to learn more about my venue, The Barn at Heritage Farm, located in the foothills of the Yadkin Valley Wine Region of Surry County, North Carolina, check out our website at www.thebarnatheritagefarm.com. You can find our availability, pricing information and ways to contact us to schedule a tour! We host indoor and outdoor ceremonies, provide picturesque views and book year-round. We would love to show you our property and answer any questions you may have! Happy Wedding Planning!